AGGRESSION IN CHILDREN
While nobody likes to feel angry, everyone from time to time has a movement where they feel disappointed or helpless which leads to them feeling frustrated and angry. But not only adults, children also feel frustration, anger and disappointment for various reasons. While some people know how to deal with such complicated emotions, many struggle to express themselves in a clear, conscious and healthy manner, especially children.
Aggression is common in children between the ages of 3-8 and teenagers, and it could occur for various reasons. It is an action or threat of action aimed at inflicting physical or psychological harm on another person.
Knowing how to deal with hurt, disappointment, envy and other complicated emotions require proper cognitive processing which is not yet developed in small children. In turn, a kid may end up lashing out and showing hostility while the matter is something else. Parents need to teach their kids good manners and make it a habit to communicate properly. Recognize why your child is acting out and help them express and understand their emotions better. By scolding them unnecessarily or punishing them physically you are only making them more stubborn.
Youth aggression is a very big social issue. Children and young people who engage in aggressive behaviour can harm not only themselves but their families, communities and society as a whole. Studies have shown that those of us with severe anger issues are more likely to develop other mental health and substance use issues, making us more likely to become violent as adults. The reason could be that anger in itself is the product of various complex emotions.
Types of aggression
Poking, pinching, spitting, hitting, kicking, using insulting language, swear words, etc, are all signs of direct aggression. Covert activities that are hard to detect, such as lying, cheating, stealing, and extreme reaction to mild teasing, etc, are also part of the aggressive behaviour. Some kids, instead of outright acting out, may show passive forms of aggression. Passive aggressiveness is no better than active aggression. Passive-aggressive behaviour is when a child, instead of being outright aggressive, indirectly expresses negative feelings by not responding to parents or shutting themselves away from others.
What causes aggression in children?
Impulsive behaviour can sometimes be mistaken for aggression when the child behaves extraordinarily and acts spontaneously without any logical reasons.
A child with a mood disorder can oscillate between aggression and depression leading to outbursts. A child could suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and behave differently because of a traumatic incident at school or home.
A hyperactive child can become restless and frustrated and throw tantrums. Such children always need some external stimuli to keep them engaged, something which requires physical as well as mental effort. Hyperactive children have much pent-up energy without any outlet, they may become fidgety and end up being grumpy.
A child may exhibit anti-social behaviour and act out because of conduct disorder. Conduct disorder refers to a set of behavioural and emotional problems characterised by ignoring others. Children with behavioural disorders have difficulty following rules and acting in a socially acceptable manner.
Their behaviour is hostile and sometimes physically violent. Such children exhibit persistent patterns of aggression toward others and show gross violations of rules and social norms at home, school, and with peers.
A child with a serious injury can have aggressive outbursts due to a damaged Frontal Lobe. Results showed that frontal lobe injury impairs the development of both leadership skills and general intelligence. Younger age of injury was associated with poorer performance. Moreover, deficits in executive function were closely associated with intellectual function.
If in the home, the environment is not conducive and if a child has witnessed a dysfunctional relationship between family members, it could lead to aggressive behaviour. Children learn through their surroundings, so family members must keep the home environment positive. Remember, children may not understand what's going on, but they are very sensitive and quickly pick on the negativity around them.
Aggression is also seen in children with cognitive impairment. Children with intellectual disabilities, including autism, fall into this category. Children with dementia and cognitive deficits have difficulty communicating their feelings. It is usually because they have a hard time coping.
As a result, you as a parent may feel anxious or irritated. The situation continues to escalate as they have no way to express themselves.
Tips to improve aggression in children -
Discipline Them
Calm yourself and tell your child that being physically aggressive or verbally abusive will not get them what they want. Teach them not to be a bully when things are not working in their favour. Use ‘Time-Outs’ to encourage your child to behave well when required. This will be useful to them even after they grow up.
Violence leads to violence
Do not use verbal or physical violence to discipline your child as you set a benchmark for them by hitting. Above all, efforts should be focused on significantly reducing the exposure of children and young people to violence in their homes, communities and the media. By physically punishing them, you are giving a message that it's okay for a person in an authoritative position to abuse their power.
Teach a Healthy Way of Expressing Feelings
No one should bottle up their emotions, whether it's a kid or an adult, everybody needs an outlet. Parents need to create nurturing and healthy ways for their child to express their anger or negative feelings by doing the same. Encourage your kids to use their words to express displeasure and make sure to use correct and clean vocabulary while doing so.
Appreciate good Behaviour
Encourage and praise your kids when they showcase good behaviour. It is necessary to show them appreciation. Praise boosts your child's confidence and self-esteem. It shows your child how to think and talk positively about themselves.
As a parent you need to help your child learn how to recognize what’s bothersome and what is praiseworthy behaviour.
Take appropriate actions immediately
To deal with your aggressive child, get to the root of the problem and discuss things calmly. Take swift action like scolding the child in a stern voice when needed and explain things to them immediately after an incident occurs. As parents, show yourself as a team when it comes to dealing with bad behaviour.
Don’t ignore Passive Aggressive Behaviour
Passive-aggressive behaviour in children is another problem shown by both adults and children. Your child will not lash out like an aggressive child. Instead, they stop answering you, in that case, addressing the problem and communicating is the only course of action you can take.
To teach Children better ways of expressing emotions, parents need to stay calm and focus on teaching them how to control their responses rather than punishing them and not addressing the underlying issue. While in front of children, it's better to use a softer tone and show them how to behave in public by setting a good example.
No single pathway is sufficient to explain the development of aggressive behaviour, nor is there a single solution which works for every parent when it comes to behavioural issues with children, but like everything else, communication, patience and love goes a long way.